Someone called me after reading the blog on the 11 year old girl in Pawtucket and opined: "How can we keep our kids close if they are on the other end of the couch but in another world." And that is a good question. The whole reason I wrote was to inform parents. You can't know about the effects of social networking if you don't know it's there. Once you do and you set out to protect your child - here are a few things you can do:
1. Add software to your child's computer like the ones I have linked on the side of this blog. (Spectorsoft & Integrity)
2. Tell them you have added the software - afterwards. I would suggest that you do it about two weeks later after you have a chance to see what they are doing and where they have been going. This will give you an idea of just how closely you need to watch.
3. One of the tell-tale signs that you should worry about is if they suddenly close the site or shutdown the page they are on when you get close enough to see the screen. Take that as an indicator that you really need tracking software on their computer.
4. So what if you find out they are goofing around in adult matters or places that are inappropriate? Does it mean they are "bad seed?" No! It just means your job as a parent isn't over. Regardless how much they protest, teens really do want constructive help from adults. Be prepared to give them reasons why some sites are not safe, some people are not safe, some things - like porn - once you have seen it can't be erased; and that changes who they are. This is one of the reasons I suggest looking into their doings for a week or more before you tell them you have added the software. It gives you time to think through what you have seen, talk to experts if you need to and approach them rationally. It will help you keep the discussion from becoming an argument.
5. Keep a good relationship with your child. Don't let adolescence become a time of battle. They are becoming a new person with ideas of their own. There are several good texts on keeping this relationship alive. James Dobsons books are some of the best.
More to come. Keep your kids close.
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