WoodyEdmiston

An Interesting Twist on Social Networking Crime

In WPSFMS I have made the point that social networking is often used to plan crimes.  In the story linked here the editors use the term "grooming."  This may be a term you are not familiar with unless you are a therapist or a member of law enforcement.  Grooming is a term to describe a wide variety of manipulative activities used by predators on and off the internet.  It is preparatory behavior intended to produce a desired future effect.  A lawyer might groom his junior partner or son to take over the law firm at some time in the future.  The difference here is that the sexual predator is breaking down any resistance to a future sexual encounter.  In WPSFMS (my book) I describe a simple joke that is circulated on the internet.  It describes in detail what could be either a first sexual encounter between an older person and a virginal partner - or - the first time a person has a tooth extracted.  Posting this story on a social networking site by an older person with an intent to either reduce the resistance or arouse the curiosity of a younger child amounts to grooming en masse.  It's also a bit like trolling the oceans in hopes of getting a fish, any fish, to bite.  Predators are patient.  In the case mentioned above the predator seeks to manipulate the natural desire to belong to special groups.  He created a special society for teens to join.  He demanded naked photos of young girls who wanted membership.  Providing the photos was a step toward meeting him and engaging in sex.  He explained that he did not like the rules of society so he had decided to start his own society.  It was an attempt to create an imaginary world inside the social networking community.  The story is just one more example of how imaginative the people who use social networking have become and the variety of danger that exists for the unaware.

Keep your kids close.

MySpace can be used for criminal enterprise

Here is another bit of news that indicates social networking sites can be used to further the interests of crime.  I have made the point in the past that shooters like Kimveer Gill and Virginia Tech's Cho are formulating ideas and getting support from like minded people to plan and execute their madness.  In the Boston area the gang banger's have gotten in on the action.  In the story law enforcement found a site for a gang where they  " . . .recruited new members over the Internet to terrorize the community with beatings, stabbings, and shootings . . ." 

The U.S. Attorney, Michael Sullivan, investigating the case said: "It is just another reminder obviously to all of us as parents to make sure we are monitoring where our kids are going, in terms of the Internet,"

It is becoming more obvious to me that I need to do another edition of my book to include more information on how parents can protect themselves and their children.

Keep your kids close.

Keep your kids close

Someone called me after reading the blog on the 11 year old girl in Pawtucket and opined: "How can we keep our kids close if they are on the other end of the couch but in another world."  And that is a good question.  The whole reason I wrote was to inform parents.  You can't know about the effects of social networking if you don't know it's there.  Once you do and you set out to protect your child - here are a few things you can do:

1. Add software to your child's computer like the ones I have linked on the side of this blog. (Spectorsoft & Integrity)
2. Tell them you have added the software - afterwards.  I would suggest that you do it about two weeks later after you have a chance to see what they are doing and where they have been going.   This will give you an idea of just how closely you need to watch.
3. One of the tell-tale signs that you should worry about is if they suddenly close the site or shutdown the page they are on when you get close enough to see the screen.  Take that as an indicator that you really need tracking software on their computer.
4. So what if you find out they are goofing around in adult matters or places that are inappropriate?  Does it mean they are "bad seed?"  No!  It just means your job as a parent isn't over.  Regardless how much they protest, teens really do want constructive help from adults.  Be prepared to give them reasons why some sites are not safe, some people are not safe, some things - like porn - once you have seen it can't be erased; and that changes who they are.   This is one of the reasons I suggest looking into their doings for a week or more before you tell them you have added the software.  It gives you time to think through what you have seen, talk to experts if you need to and approach them rationally.  It will help you keep the discussion from becoming an argument.
5. Keep a good relationship with your child.  Don't let adolescence become a time of battle.  They are becoming a new person with ideas of their own.  There are several good texts on keeping this relationship alive.  James Dobsons books are some of the best.

More to come. Keep your kids close.

My Children are not old enough yet

Often I meet people at book signings or meetings where concerned parents are talking about their children.  One of the frequent comments about my book, WPSFMS is, "My kids are not that old yet."  I'm linking here http://www.pawtuckettimes.com/site/news.cfm?newsid=18465589&BRD=1713&PAG=461&dept_id=24491&rfi=6 an article about an 11 year old girl whose innocence has been taken by a 21 year old man.  The prime objective for my writing WPSFMS is to alert parents to the fact that a social networking site is a "private place" inside their home.  Just because Suzy is sitting on the other end of the couch from you does not mean she is mentally in the same room with you.  If she is using a laptop or sitting across the room on the family computer - she may be in another world.  It is a world where you are unwelcome.  The denizens of this world are looking for kids whose parents are not watching.  They can be harmed both physically and mentally in the process of dabbling in a world where you never truly know who you are talking to.

Keep your kids close.

Hooray for MySpace

Hooray for MySpace! They have been cooperating with Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott.  General Abbott is a fine man who I campaigned with in the 2000 election cycle in Travis County.  I am pleased that he is taking a look at predators on social networking.  See the whole story: http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070614/wr_nm/myspace_texas_dc_1

Nuts in the news

Another mother's child is dead.  She was last seen on a video camera at a local store being forced into her car.  The suspect has been located and he is in jail.  The friends and family have been interviewed by the press and as usual the neighbors are surprised.  He seemed to be such a nice fellow, had a wife and child and seemed so, well, normal.

After the investigators began to look at this dude the first thing they found was that he has a MySpace account and listed his interests as "harming small animals and eating children."  In the Casper, Wyoming Star Tribune article they indicate that his MySpace painted a different picture. 

In my research into social networking one of the things I have found is that  disturbed people like Virginia Tech shooter Cho and Canada's Kimveer Gill spend a lot of time chatting on line.  When they post their interests they generally say right up front that they have odd or homicidal urges.  Often they portray Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold as heros or martyrs.  If these people were muttering this sort of thing on a street corner we would lock them up.  What is worse in my opinion is that they seem to feed off of other people.  They talk to other Goth types as in Gill's case or find other people whose whacked view of life fits theirs.  In doing so they build justification and momentum to put some over-the-top expression of their angst into action.  What is weirder still is that there is no way for us to stop them unless they make specific threats.  The people who provide these communications pathways are protected by the Communications Decency act.  They can't be sued and they have no legislative mandate to truly protect their users.  The safeguards they put in place are mainly to protect their own liability not truly protect your child.  As you watch your child tonight surfing a social networking site for new friends - imagine that he or she is in their pajamas walking down Bourbon Street in New Orleans.  It's a lot closer to the truth than you want to believe.
Keep your kids close.

Cyberbullying

Cyberbullying is another facet of online communication that is poorly understood.  I will post other items regarding this topic in the future.  For a complete understanding of cyberbullying read this article from the National PTA. For a personal account of loss from Cyberbullying look at ryanpatrickhalligan.com

PTA Cyberbullying Article

ryanpatrickhalligan.com

Useful Online Acronyms and their meanings

Social Networking Acronyms

 

 

AFAIK  - As Far As I Know

AFK  - Away From the Keyboard

AFN - that's All For Now

AOTA -  All Of The Above

AV Avatar - A picture often used in chat

 rooms and bulliten boards to give

 a unique identity.

b4  - Before

BAK - Back At Keyboard (I'm back)

BBL  - Be Back Later

BBS  - Be Back Soon

BCNU - I'll Be Seeing You.

b/f  - Boyfriend (also shown as bf, B/F, or BF)

BEG  - Big Evil Grin

BFN  - Bye For Now

BTW - By The Way

wbt - BeTWeen you and me ...

CU - See You - also known as cya

CUL8R - See You Later

CUOL - See You On Line

CYA - See Ya

DIKU - Do I Know You?

EOT - End Of Thread (meaning end of

 discussion)

ez or EZ - easy 

F2F - Face To Face

FAQ - Frequently Asked Question

FITB - Fill In The Blanks

FOCL - Falling Off Chair - Laughing

FUBAR - "Fouled" Up Beyond All

 Repair / Recognition

FUD - Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt

FWIW - For What It's Worth

FYI - For Your Information

GAL - Get A Life

g/f - Girlfriend (also shown as gf, G/F, or GF)

GFN - Gone For Now

GGOH - Gotta Get Outta Here

GTR - Got To Run

GTRM - Going To Read Mail

H&K - Hugs and Kisses

HAGD - Have A Good Day

HAGO - Have A Good One

HB - Hurry Back

HTH - Hope That Helps

IDN - I Don't kNow

IDK - I Don't Know

IDTS -  I Don't Think So

IC - I See

IMHO - In My Humble Opinion

(or In My Honest Opinion)

IMO  - In My Opinion

IOH  - I'm Out of Here

 

 

 

IOW - In Other Words

JK  - Just Kidding

JMO  - Just My Opinion

JW - Just Wondering

KIT - Keep In Touch

LMAO - Laughing My A** Off

LFFAO - Laughing My

 F***(freaking) A** Off

LOL - Laughing Out Loud

LYL - Love You Lots

nm, - or NM Never Mind

NP, np - No Problem

OBTW -  Oh, By The Way.

OIC  - Oh, I See

OMG  - Oh My Gosh

OT  - Off Topic

OTOH - On The Other Hand ...

P911 -My parents are in the room.

PITA -Pain In The A**

PLZ -Please

PMJI - Pardon Me for Jumping In 

POS - Parents are looking Over my Shoulder.

POTS - Parents Over The Shoulder

QT - Cutie

ROFL - Rolling On Floor, Laughing

ROTF - Rolling On The Floor

 (laughing is implied)

ROTFLMAO - Rolling On The Floor

Laughing My A** Off

ROTFLMFAO - Rolling On The

 Floor Laughing

SOTA - State Of The Art (latest technology)

SPST  - Same Place, Same Time

SSDD - Same S**t, Different Day

SYL - See You Later

TAFN - That's All For Now

TC - Take Care

TFH - Thread From Hell

TIA - Thanks In Advance

TMI - Too Much Info. (information)

TNT - 'Til Next Time

TPS - That's Pretty Stupid

TS - Tough S**t

TTFN - Ta-Ta For Now

TTYL - Talk To You Later

TY - Thank You

TYT - Take Your Time

TYVM - Thank You Very Much

US - You Suck

WEG - Wicked Evil Grin

WEU - What's Eating You?

WFM - Works For Me

WIIFM - What's In It For Me?

WTG - Way To Go

WTGP?  - Want To Go Private?

 (go to a private chat room)

WWJD - What Would Jesus Do?

YBS - You'll Be Sorry

YL - Young Lady

Hello Weblog World

This is my first adventure into the web world.